Marvel Avengers Assemble Exclusive Script Extract!

The first screenings of The Avengers have taken place in the States, and while critical consideration is under embargo-style wraps at the moment, Viewing Gum can exclusively reveal a genuine script extract from a pivotal moment in the drama:

INT: S.H.I.E.L.D. H.Q.

NICK FURY has gathered all THE AVENGERS together (or assembled them, you might say) to discuss the situation at hand.

NICK FURY
I am Nick Fury. I met a bunch of you after the credits of your respective films, and I am also the character most likely to be killed off as you’ve all got sequels confirmed and I’m getting too old for this shit.

THOR (to IRON MAN)
Out of my way tin man!

IRON MAN (to THOR)
Oh, I’m sorry, didn’t Daddy teach you manners up in Neverland? (sarcastic)

THOR (to IRON MAN)
Do not speak that way about my father!

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Stop fighting you guys, it’s rude to talk when others are talking. Also, I’m, like, really strong.

IRON MAN grins, turns his back to THOR and whistles “If I Had A Hammer”. THOR doesn’t get it. HAWKEYE and BLACK WIDOW smirk to give them something to do.

HULK
HULK SMASH!

THOR (to HULK)
Out of my way jolly green giant!

IRON MAN (turning back to THOR)
Wait, you have sweetcorn in space?

HULK
HULK LIKE SWEETCORN!

THE AVENGERS bicker and swap sassy one-liners for thirty minutes.

NICK FURY
I’ve had it with these motherfucking Avengers in this motherfucking movie!

END SCENE

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One response to “Marvel Avengers Assemble Exclusive Script Extract!

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